
It's 1977
and Joseph Kerzer is just like any other Orthodox Jewish teenager; He
wants an Italian goddess to adore him, he wants to win the Saturday
Night Disco Contest and, with God's blessing, he wants to get laid.
Kerzer's
Deli is a world unto itself, populated with the characters that make
this story. Bubbie Dinke the most foul-mouthed seventy-five-year-old
grandmother you've ever met. Leo Washington the black chef, Vietnam
veteran and mentor of our hero Joseph Kerzer. Leo speaks Yiddish, makes
a mean Matzo ball and is the heart of the Deli's staff.
Pearl Kerzer,
an over bearing Mother with the balls of a bull. Hymie Kerzer, Joe's
Dad and castrated daily by his wife. Golda Kerzer, Joe's sister with
the angelic face and a dark secret. The pride of the Kerzer family is
the older son Rabbi Y'Itzchak Kerzer a young Rabbi with a secret so
dark and shocking that he could never become a member of the Republican
Party.
Our hero
Joe has issues. His family wants him to make something of his self,
but he'd rather fantasize about being like his neighbor Tony Manero,
the hippest, sexiest Italian Stud possible. Joe has Bertha Baumgartner
stalking him and driving him crazy as she lusts after him. But Joe wants
to escape to Tony's world, so risking the wrath and ridicule from a
gang of Italian tough's (friends of Tony's) Joe and his friends venture
down to Disco 3000.
Joe meets
the girl of his dream Marie Antoinette and she seems to fall for him
likewise. The two decide to compete in the local disco dance competition.
Joe tells her that he's quite a dancer, an outright lie, and now he
has to deliver the goods. When they kiss angels sing and Joe is changed
forever.
Joe asks
Leo for some help in learning how to dance and Leo sets him up with
a meeting with Joe's childhood playmates, Leo's kid's, Karl and Martin
who now have their own disco/jazz/ fusion band. Joe goes to Harlem for
a lesson (no easy task for a white Jewish innocent). But the night goes
off really well and Joe is now ready to start practicing with Marie.
Rehearsing
with Marie has one serious down element. Her two brothers Lazlo and
Nino are willing to kill to protect their sister's virtue and their
interference is at times life threatening. Joe meets Marie's Mom, eats
pork for the first time, and is introduced to a whole, strange, new
world. But the rehearsals are both heavenly and clumsy as the two young
adults enjoy each other's company.
The whole
stew of Italians and Jews fighting for life, love and the pursuit of
happiness culminates in a series of surprise twists and turns. Does
Joe end up with Marie or Bertha? Does the Rabbi's surprise, surprise
his best friend Father Frank? Is Joe's sister really a XXXXXXer? Who's
the lucky girl in the lingerie that corners Joe? And who does Joe enter
the contest with when Marie is hurt?
All these
answers are available for those who read the script or eventually go
see the movie. Shabbos Night Fever is not a satire of Saturday Night
Fever. It is a story unto itself told in the style of such hit movies
as MEET THE FOCKERS and MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING. It's wild, it's crazy,
THE COMEDY IS SO WRONG IT'S RIGHT!
For a copy
of the script in either PDF format or hard copy, contact Mark Riccardi
at (818)-822-9690, or via e-mail at taketwoentertainment@yahoo.com.